Extrary is here - the 13th month you didn't know you needed
Let's be honest. December is a lie. The lie we tell ourselves that the last month of a year is a totally regular month. We are expected to be as productive, as energised and as eager as in April or September. That's obviously impossible. Don't believe me? Look through your window. There is no way that in this drizzling rain, cold, and gloomy aura, anybody will jump right out of bed to the birds chirping a jolly song like in a Disney movie (unless you're a Disney movie character then go ahead).
December is not a month when you start a new healthy life style, reaching all of your goals won't happen all of the sudden, not to mention the progress on New Year's resolutions. And that is completely fine.
As a reader of this humble blog, you know that the concept of the 12-month year doesn't work for my chaotic brain. I have written a post about 13-month year but I have never dived into what the extra month means to me. This year I invite you to embrace the 13th month, also known as Extrary*.
Extrary is here and you need it
The main purpose of Extrary is rest. No new projects, now new routines, no new habits to make you smarter, fitter or more organised. January (or the January that starts on the first Monday after Extrary) is great for that, great for new beginnings and dreams. Extrary is a cool-down after a tiring year. It's the month to be well-rested, slow and even lazy.
This year Extrary starts on Monday, December 9., and lasts until January 5.
The Extrary rhythm: slow down to slow down more
There is no doubt, traditional December can be really stressful. With the noise of holiday songs everywhere, blinding decorations and expectations, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
Each Extrary week has its own theme:
- Week of preparations
- Week of closure
- Week of rest
- Week of reconnection.
I will send out gentle guidance emails every Monday.
Week 1: Week of preparations
To ensure a gentle goodbye to a year, we need to put in some work. This is the time to buy the presents and send cards. Don't wait until the last moment - it will get more stressful every day you delay a shopping trip. It doesn't have to be stressful if you have a list, if you don't have any idea check out the list from last year.
Buy some cards and send them to your grandma, parents, friends. Sacrifice one evening of scrolling or watching netflix, and I know, it may seem like such an extravagant gesture these days to sit down and write instead of sending a text. But it is cute, and it will slow you down. And that's the point, right?
If you travel to visit your family, make sure you have the right clothes to wear. For example, my family is rather formal, and I always need to check if my white shirt is still white enough.
At work, you should be finalising your tasks. Don't agree to any new projects, don't start brainstorming, it's a waste of time - new year will bring new energy and different, probably better ideas. Do maintenance work, write documentation, fix bugs, but mostly, clean up. Delete old branches, close stale pull requests, clean up old tickets in a backlog.
During the first week you create a stage for the future you to enjoy the rest of the month. It is the most intense week as it requires the most action but trust me, it will get better each Monday.
Let me know how it sounds to you. What are your ways to cope with the end-of-the-year pressure?
Thank you for reading and see you next week!
Wiktoria
PS. The tone of this email may suggest that there is one way to do Extrary correctly. Obviously, each of us has their own irks. Some people love shopping, some don't. From as long as I can remember December would leave me torn between how I really felt and how I should have felt: I was tired but expected to hit the ground running, overstimulated but expected to smile and be grateful, stressed as fuck (pardon my French) but expected to thrive in patience. Inventing Extrary as weird as it is (how many people you know created their own month?) helped me to regain the agency over how I spend the time in-between years. Since Extrary is not December, the narrative of it caters completely to activities that relax, strengthen and heal me gently. I encourage you to look at the next weeks through a lens of your true needs, and follow them. Let me know how what nurtures you.
*also know as Extrary is a bit of an exaggeration since it's only known by you and me :)