In Praise of Lists
It is terribly easy to get discouraged and overwhelmed under this November sky. Penetrating cold and gloom drive any mirth out from hearts and minds, and a joyful spark fades away from eyes adapting to the winter darkness.
As somebody who doesn't understand time and that future will eventually happen, I often find myself susceptible to being miserably stuck in a place where I cannot see further than walls closing around me. I would much rather prefer to stand on the edge of the abyss because at least I could appreciate the view (ocean? sea? maybe some ships? or swimmers?). Unfortunately, my brain is not as imaginative, and when hurting, I feel confined or even suffocated.
What helps me immensely is writing lists. Not infamous to-do lists that one never follows up on. More like opportunity lists. Aspiration and dream lists. Life-is-more-than-this lists. Lists that show me that no matter how shitty the world appears to be, this situation, day or feeling don't define my life completely. Writing lists make me regain the agency over what I can influence or do. So how do I do it?
The process of writing a list
Essentially, you need very little to write a decent (demure and mindful) list:
- a pen,
- a notebook or a piece of paper,
- and a question.
Of course, you can use your laptop but who needs more screen time these days? Anyway, the technical aspects are easy. The question or topic you want to explore depends on what you feel you need: new perspectives, inspiration, reassurance.
The most important aspect of writing a list is the quantity.
Quantity matters
You want to write a long list. And by long, I mean a number that makes you think whoa this will be a long list. 10-20 points are easy to write and will not tease your neurons enough. You need to challenge your brain to think more broadly, to look beyond the paths always taken.
I cannot explain how it happens but if you try this you will see yourself, that after listing thirty seven options how to have a good day, something magical switches in your brain and all of the sudden, you open gates to a new meadow or hill in your mind. Astonishment flushes over you while seeing that much more is possible than you have anticipated.
I know it sounds bizarre, and yet it works. Settle for 50 or 100 points and go for it. Practical advice, set a timer to an hour and turn off all distractions. Let yourself list.
Ideas for lists
100 things that made my year
This is a fun list to jot down. It requires looking into the beloved wall calendar, diaries and photos. For a day in between Christmas and New Year's, I put on a hat of an investigator and dive into the past twelve months. What brought me joy? What kept me sane? What made me feel relaxed, wanted, loved? Adventures? Songs? Books? They all land on the list. You can read my 2022 and 2023 lists on the blog.
50 jobs I could do
There was a moment, when the flames of burnout didn't save any of my enthusiasm for anything software-related, and I thought my identity would collapse into ashes forever. The anxiety of not knowing what to do next made me shiver to the bone. It was tempting to just numb myself with misery, but I decided to look at my career as a buffet and not a fine-dining meal. The question What job could I do? and an empty piece of paper in front of me caused simultaneously an emotional crisis and absolution, the ultimate relief, as line by line I wrote different jobs I could actually do. Some jobs were physical and not very well paid but the fact that the possibility was there, that I was not forever cursed to code, brought me more peace than any podcast or smartass article with 7 steps how to deal with burnout. The point of the list is to see opportunities, to see that what we do is mostly what we choose.
What should happen in the month/quarter/year to make it the best time of my life.
This is a game changer, since future finds its way to always surprise me. It allows to put fantasies and dreams into realistic time frames. It may be helpful to guide life-changing decisions and get one's priorities straight.
What you already have
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that in the midst of what seems to be another portion of turbulent times, the urge to look for distraction, or destruction, might turn harmful against one's delicate core. With the noise of storm approaching, phones buzzing and never-ending stream of news and lamentations, one's nervous system, bowstring stretched ready to snap, needs comfort, care, hope. And my message for today is what you need is a list of abundance. Abundance already within you.
Thank you for reading.
Wiktoria