Notes from the road vol. 2

Unexpectedly, I find myself on a train again, this time traveling home from the western parts of Germany. The past few days have been chaotic and intense, with rapture changes unfolding without warning. I write to you now, two days later than planned, a bit weary (again! and again, not bragging. It's a mental note that I should get a grip and rest).

If, like me, you have a sensitive soul, the current state of the world must seem, at the very least, unsettling. Honestly, how is all of this happening? All at once and in this direction? What we can see ore read serves as a huge reminder that no freedom, no right is given in perpetuity; they must never be taken for granted. I am horrified by the news, and no matter the language—be it Polish, German, or English—it seems we stand at a historical precipice. Will the next generation look back and ask, Were they really that clueless? Did they not see this coming? I am no political analyst, and this letter is not about politics. It is about a matter that has been circling my mind for some time.

The balance is impossible

A recent image on my Instagram feed captured the essence of this emotional languishing:

The guilt I feel when I don’t read the news. The despair I feel when I do.

How does one remain informed without surrendering their mental health? How can we stay present in the microcosm of our private lives when, in the grand scheme of things, so much evil unfolds? How can I anticipate the birth of my first child with joy when other mothers must wake their children to the sound of air raid sirens?

This is hard.

No matter how much I resist indifference to others' suffering, I know I just cannot keep going like this. I need a reprieve—from the constant media noise, from arrogant leaders, from conflicts and shouting.

The balance is impossible. I cannot be moderately outraged. I read the news, and my nervous system flares into high alert - my chest clenches, my stomach swirls, nausea attacks and it feels like my head is clamped between a vice. The questions you should ask at this point: And how is it helpful? You have a strong emotional reaction but does it help anyone? Does it serve those for whom I so desperately do not want to become indifferent?

To which I can only answer, I don't think it helps at all.

So what comes next?

I doubt that absorbing the latest political absurdities, spoken with the fervor of a cult leader, will inspire greater empathy or action.  On the contrary, the constant stream of news forms a thick fog, obscuring my ability to see people. Instead, I only grow more frustrated, angry, powerless. 

My plan is to stay connected to the community, limit my consumption of daily news and instead focus on deepening my understanding of resilience, human rights, and democracy. Because there is a vast difference between being informed and being information-fatigued.

I know I am not alone in feeling this way, and for that reason, I welcome discussions about politics and the emotions they provoke. Even in the darkest moments, we have each other, and together, we are strong.

Thank you for reading!

Cheers,

Wiktoria

PS. Please let me acknowledge that the right to turn off the news is a privilege because there are no bombs flying above my head (yet), and all my basic needs remain secure (for now).

PS.2. In today's music corner, something we all know but do we really?